I recently took a survey of a bunch of single women on another web site and their answers revealed some surprising signs of when a girl is definitely not interested in you.
These are not those typical “dime a dozen” signs you see or things that are just always common sense, like putting her hand in your face, completely ignoring you, or even throwing her drink in your face or slapping you. These signals are unique and by far the most important.
I also went one step further, and I not only explain these signs in detail, but also give you my proven tips to handle each situation.
(NOTE: this article is part of a series. You may also want to check out The 7 Signs She Might Like You)
If You’ve Ever Wanted To Know If A Girl You Likes You, Just Look For One Of These 13 Signs…
1. She comes up with excuses to leave the conversion. Even if a girl has a good reason for excusing herself, it’s still an excuse. Two or more of these excuses (or one really quick one early on) can be a sign she’s not interested.
For example, she may excuse herself to use the bathroom, begin talking to a friend or start texting or fumbling with her phone to avoid continuing the conversation. In either case, if she does not quickly return her attention to you, it most likely means she’s trying to break things off.
What To Do: In this case, two is a charm. If you get an initial excuse and then you make a second attempt to restart the conversation and you still get an excuse, then it’s a sign to give it a rest. There’s no reason to get turned down more than you need to, and rejection ain’t pretty. It’s best to save face and find that girl who is really interested.
If you want to see the signs a girl is interested in you, then read this quick guide, which explains the hidden signs a woman will send when she likes you.
2. When you get close, she moves away. If you go shake her hand, give her a hug or just get closer to her and she moves back (even just slightly) it can be a sign she needs more space. This is a situation where you need to be hyper-aware and look for the tiny details.
What To Do: Women typically make smaller gestures with their body language than men do, so if you move closer and she seems to move back, it’s a sign she’s not ready for any advances yet.
Just move back to where you were before and take some time to get to know each other. If you don’t see any other signs of disinterest, then there’s a good chance she still may be interested. Just take your time and try again in 15-30 minutes.
Keep in mind, if she moves closer to you, it’s one of the 7 signs she’s interested.
3. She’s ignoring your texts. Too many times, men try to come up with a good excuse for why a woman might not be responding to their text messages. The truth is, if a woman is unresponsive to texts, she’s likely receiving them and is choosing not to reply. Men like to cling to that tiny ray of hope that there is some kind of good reason for why a text isn’t being returned, but there rarely is one.
What To Do: Reverse the situation: if a girl was texting you, would you respond to her within a few hours time? The answer is probably yes, of course! It’s hard to admit that a girl we like isn’t interested, but the key to success is getting up, and moving on.
4. She always wants to bring a friend. If you’ve invited her out, but she always wants to turn it into a group affair, it could be because she’s trying to avoid being in an intimate situation with you.
What To Do: Make sure you’re clear about your intention to get together one-on-one. If you mention her friends or your friends or a party, it may not be clear to her that you want to spend time alone with her.
If you are clear that you’d like to do something alone and she still insists on bringing a friend, you can clarify that you’d “really like to have some time to get to know her better, and you would love to meet her friend some other time.” If she still backs out after this, she may not be interested in something romantic.
5. She has to leave quickly. Often a girl will agree to meet for a date just so she has some time to see if she feels a connection or not. If she doesn’t, she may come up with an excuse to leave quickly, such as going to meet a friend or getting back home because “it’s late.”
What To Do: It’s tempting to get upset when a girl has to leave a date early, especially if you were expecting to spend more time together. The best thing to do is to think of a first date as an experiment. You’re still both just getting to know each other. Either she, or you, may not feel a connection and if so, that’s totally OK.
The majority of first dates do not turn into relationships, they are really just an opportunity to get to know each other. There are lots of reasons people are incompatible.
Leaving quickly does not always mean she’s disinterested. The only real way to know is to keep communicating with her and see what kind of response you get.
6. She asks you for advice about other men she’s dating. If she’s asking your advice about how to pursue other relationships, then she could be trying to send you a signal that she’s not interested in anything romantic with you.
What To Do: No guy wants to be in this situation. It might sound scary, but the best solution here is to be upfront about your feelings and make it clear that you don’t want to be “just friends” or play dating doctor for her.
Many women will find it attractive that you “stick to your guns,” so to speak.
If you avoid sharing your true feelings or (even worse) start giving her advice about her other relationships, it will only reinforce that you are playing the role of the dating doctor in her life and not her romantic partner.
7. She avoids making plans. Some women will talk to you or text you enthusiastically, yet still avoid meeting up. If this happens, it’s often a sign she’s not interested.
What To Do: You may be noticing a pattern here. A woman’s resistance to your advances and invitations are one of the main ways she tells you she’s not interested. Always be very clear with your invitation.
If you would like to take a girl out to dinner, tell her that very clearly. Do not make plans vague or ambiguous, otherwise her response will often be the same.
For example, if you say “we should really do something one of these days” and she says “yeah we should totally do something,” then you still don’t have a clear agreement on your plans.
If you say “hey, are you free any nights this week? I’d love to invite you to dinner,” then you should expect to get a yes/no answer, a day of the week she’s free and even a statement of interest that she would really enjoy doing such a thing.
Clarity is the key to avoiding confusion with a girl.
8. She sits far away from you. If you’re out together at a bar or at home and she chooses to sit on a separate chair when there is clearly room on the couch next to you, it’s a sign she could be avoiding intimate physical contact.
Women try to stop intimacy from happening by keeping physical space from a man. Closeness is always a sign of romance and you can clearly tell when two people are together because they are inside each other’s personal space.
What To Do: Well first you have to be smart enough to choose the couch as your place to sit because it provides the opportunity for her to sit next to you if she chooses. You also have to take into account how much work or effort is involved in not sitting next to you.
For example, is the chair she choses to sit in less comfortable than the couch? Is she sacrificing her comfort to avoid being close to you? If this situation happens there is not much you can do to change things, but you can plan ahead to make sure you don’t make any mistakes.
9. She never touches you. Playful arm touches, hugs and friendly slaps can all be signs of interest. If she’s avoiding touching you at all, she may just see you as a friend. If you watch a woman flirting with a man she just met, there is usually physical contact taking place.
What To Do: Since this is something she must initiate, there isn’t much you can do to get her to touch you. However, keep in mind that certain women are more comfortable with touching than others. Women typically take longer to become comfortable touching a man than the other way around.
Also, different cultures have different comfort levels with touching. For example, Eastern Europeans or Scandinavians are often the least touchy. Latin Americans are the most. North Americans fall somewhere in the middle.
If you want to discover the other ways a girl may touch you when she likes you, you can take a quick look at the 7 signs of interest guide here.
10. She says she has a boyfriend. If a woman wants to keep her space, she may bring up that she’s already dating someone or that it’s “getting serious.” You may debate in your mind whether this is true or not, but the simple fact that she brings this up reveals she probably wants to keep her distance.
What To Do: This might sound strange to say, but the one good thing about the “I have a boyfriend” remark is that it doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not. You know the intention behind it is always the same, which is to set expectations that she is not open to dating you at the time.
There are some rare times when a woman may say this, but still could be open to dating. She could be embarrassed to say she’s single or that she may be in a relationship that is in the stages of breaking up.
If you feel ok with it, you can ask follow-up questions to clarify, although the best option is to usually continue your conversation and look for other signs of interest or disinterest from her.
11. She wants to take you shopping with her. A woman will often try to put a guy in the “friend zone” by inviting him to join her on unromantic activities like shopping, running errands or other boring tasks where she just wants someone to keep her company.
What To Do: Keep in mind, if you are invited to join a woman for a “friend” activity, accepting her invitation may only put you further into the “friend” role. Shopping is one of these activities that a woman would typically invite a friend to do.
However, grabbing a glass of wine alone together on a Friday night would convey just the opposite – that she is romantically interested.
12. She says you’re “nice.” Being labeled as the dreaded “nice guy” is never a good thing to hear. It often means she sees you as too innocent to have a romantic relationship with, and she only feels that she can be friends with you.
What To Do: If she says you’re too nice, then think about why she said this. Perhaps you’re too agreeable? Maybe you offer her too many favors, help or gifts? Maybe she feels you’re a romantic guy? Or, maybe you’re not expressing your feelings for her clearly like we talked about earlier.
Being “nice” is not always attributed to one specific action, so it could take a few changes to fix this one.
If you feel comfortable, ask her why she used this word to describe you as opposed to other men she’s dated in the past. It might be scary to ask this, but the information you could get could help you fix your “nice guy” problem faster.
13. She tells you she’s not into you. More confident and upfront women will sometimes tell you they are not interested. Other women avoid this because they worried it will cause conflict or awkward situations.
What To Do: If a woman is willing to be honest and upfront, you should be respectful that she is being mature about the situation.
Some women may tell you they are “not interested” when they really are (you can check out the 7 signs of interest here). You can chalk this up to basic flirting or “playing games.”
Sometimes a woman will say she’s not interested when she is because she doesn’t want to appear as too available or over-eager.
These 13 signs will help improve your intelligence about women. When you go out, you should naturally feel more attuned to a woman’s signals, like you have an ability to know what they are thinking with needing to hear them say it. The truth is, most women won't ever say their thoughts about you out loud.
Also remember, many of these signs do not mean your chances are completely over. There is often something you can do in each situation to right the ship.
Now Continue To Part Two…
This will help further your natural ability to know what a woman is feeling and to walk into a room and naturally know which women like you (even women you might currently not be aware of).